Category Archives: First Posts

MIDNIGHT MEMORIES

I used to depend on others for my happiness
I expected them to do good by me, the way I did good to them, in my own defence,
And to be honest, I never thought that most of them would put a face of pretence,
A fake smile, sweet nothings, as long as things were good on their side,
As long as, when they had a problem, they had a friend in me to confide,
They kept up the facade,
Damn, I don’t know why I was so naïve, I didn’t see the huge hazard,
To my life,
I thought if I called someone my best friend,
They would have my best interest at heart,
Only to find out, they lied when they said they could stand my fart,
And to me, that statement of comfortability went a long way,
I regret to say,
I called them family,
Sometimes put them ahead of my own family,
Cause at times, they made me feel good,
At times they got me in the right mood,
Keyword, at times,
But Even God Knows, Most times,
They made me Sad,
Most times they got me mad,
Most times, they made me cry like never before
Even one time when we had gone for a trip next to the shore,
A time to relax, release some steam, they hurt me more,
And stupid I was,
You see, because,
I thought that I was mature enough,
Because I thought that I could handle my stuff,
I suffered in the name of love,
In the name of love I let my soul starve,
I was comfortable in that zone of sadness,
And you might think its sadness,
But somewhere in my Bible said, learn to forgive, at all times,
You love them right, they apologized right? So who are you to judge their crimes,
And day by day, it killed me from deep inside,
And although I tried to put up a mock show on the outside,
Most days it weighed on me so much,
Up to the point where a young and energetic lad such as I,
Became shy,
My Mom was so worried, and often wondered why,
Her son, a jovial kind heart,
Looked so stressed and hurt,
My so not close friends whom I had pushed away,
Also had their things to say,
Like,
You have changed because of the company you started to keep,
And I would get mad and angry at them to the point that I could flip
Though deep down I knew, that the same people I was protecting,
Constantly defending,
Were the ones who caused me not to sleep at night,
Things they made me do, made me wonder what’s wrong and right,
Gosh,
I don’t know why I let my guard down,
Only that one time, and they took advantage, and made me a clown,
A laughing stalk to my peers
A constant customer to late night drives and bitter tears,
But fool me once, to your song I will dance,
Fool me twice, don’t you dare come back for a second chance,
Cause I am totally done,
I know I said that the last time, but difference is, this time, I believe I can,
To put my happiness first,
And all the pain, hurt, lies, them included, in the past,
Cause one day, a Wise beautiful lady said,
Blood is thicker than water, friends come and go,
They will lie and mock you, stab you in the back, put up an award winning show,
I never listened then,
But desperate times, desperate measures,
No more will I put my happiness on the line, so as to satisfy their guilty pleasures,
Its time to embrace this foreign thing called, self love,
Become happy and content with self , then I might be able to share my love.

WORD.

BY :MAGATI
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